It started with being in an RV, where I was standing behind the front seats.  An elderly woman was driving, who I considered to be my mom, but who didn’t look at all like my mom.  She steered to the right like she was going to turn, but then changed her mind suddenly and turned left instead.  The moment of confusion seemed to annoy me a bit.  As we then went up a hill I offered to take the wheel.  Her reaction was of complete indignation, which was a surprise to me.  She was interpreting my offer as an attack on her competence.  I tried to clarify that it was born out of my appreciation for her effort, an attempt to relieve her of burden, etc, but she wasn’t hearing that at all.  Instead she just became more enraged by my explanation.  I gave her a slight whack with my blue ski poles because I was angered by how aggressively she retaliated to my gesture, as she took it as an opportunity to berate me.  Before we parted ways, I noticed some strong contrast between this woman’s physical appearance and my mom’s actual condition.  This woman’s hair was medium-length, nearly completely gray, and very thin.  So thin, in fact, that a number of red sores on her scalp were visible from just about five feet away.  It just seemed a bit gross.  As we parted I said something like she was a nasty bitch.  Then I heard my aunt’s voice respond, like a taunting sidekick might, “Oh really? What was that, again?”  I thought about either escalating or de-escalating the situation by modifying my prior statement.  I decided to call back, “You’re a nasty B,” in a tone that was something like “Shame on you!”

Then I arrived in a large indoor/outdoor complex that seemed like a combination of a multi-story living area, like dorms or apartment buildings, next to a big swimming pool.  It was night time and it seemed like a big party was going on.  Right as I walked in there was that awkward tension in the air that you feel when everyone suddenly hushes their conversation and kind of studies you out of the corner of their eye without actually greeting you.  Then I noticed a particular cute, blond, 20-something girl who stood next to some other people, looking at me with a direct stare.  There was no contempt in her face whatsoever; she had almost a trance-like quality, like one would do if they wanted to clear away all of their internal thinking and just allow the other person’s psycho-emotional state to become their own.  This gave me a clue about what the source of this sudden general social awkwardness was; it had to be something I said or did which apparently was contrary to convention, like poo-pooing something popular, which would draw general scorn, but which then aroused a deep and innocent curiosity in someone who wanted to understand the mind of someone unafraid to act outside these social bounds.  I just kept moving through, then decided to go for a swim.  I jumped into the pool, going down pretty deep, then popped up and found a floating platform that a bunch of people were on and around.  I got up on top and caused it to rock and tip over, spilling people into the water.  I stayed on one side of it, then other guys tried to get up on the other end, but it was too much weight so it kept the other end submerged.

I soon was back up around the outdoor stairwell when a guy who I didn’t recognize came up to me in order to clue me in on what I’d done that was so offensive.  He said, in an English accent, “They caught you having a wank out in the hallway…” to which I was quite surprised, not having any memory of it.  I replied with an “Ohh?” which normally successfully invites people to elaborate a bit more about whatever they just mentioned.  He went on, “Yeah, I saw it on video…” then seemed to trail off, which was a bit curious to me, as I obviously then wondered whether it was maybe on security camera footage, or perhaps something else, like a sting operation; or maybe he was doing something to have a ‘wank’ himself.  It seemed like he’d shared as much as he could before he might expose himself in some different-but-equally unpopular kind of behavior.

I kept walking, and mostly contemplated the idea of having perhaps forsaken my tribe– now that I’d have to wear the ‘scarlet letter’, would I have permanently damaged the reputation of my club affiliation, like Liverpool, etc?  I suppose the focus of the contemplation was whether I ought to be feeling guilt or shame about the whole thing.  Then I saw some friends I recognized up on an upper level, one of whom was my buddy, Dave, standing next to several other people who all apparently had adopted some new hairstyle trend.  They wore their hair ‘out’ and extra shaggy, and had bleached the last inch or so to bright white. The contrast between the tips and the roots was striking but I thought it looked silly.  But it was just hair– how much could I really care?

I went upstairs to hang out with them, then suddenly a young kid started trying to ask me questions about trading.  He seemed to be struggling to form a coherent thought which would encapsulate his range of ideas and make the question more intelligible.  His mom stood by and gathered that he was lacking sufficient articulation, so she gave me a waving gesture which was like permission to ignore him.  I didn’t want to blow him off completely, so I gave him a moment to gather himself.  He tried again, and asked how a company goes about deciding on its advertising or display strategy, in order to attract customers in the ‘backyard’ area.  I replied something about them being very thorough in evaluating and estimating what they believe potential customers want, then needing to find a way to demonstrate that they have it ready for them. Quite simple, really.

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